Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Right, everything is going fine :)

Got married, went on a honeymoon and life is perfect :)

Saturday, May 03, 2003

How is one supposed to cope with ones friend being the biggest slut in the universe. And how is one supposed to deal with friends that aren't real friends?

I believe I need to get some new friends in addition to my old ones! Not being harsh or anything.... I am just realizing how people are just abusing me, tear me up and shred me to pieces. I just am not able to handle that right now.
Specially with the wedding coming up and all...
In addition to that school is crazy, projects and exams going on...

well gotta go... dont even have time to exhale the stress...

Monday, April 21, 2003

These past few days have been wonderful. No stress, no school - just me and my other half chilling at home.

Sometimes I can be so fragile. Just one word and I feel insecure and the littlest person in the world... wierd!

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

God I'm fucking depressed!

Yesterday I was so mad at my friend. How come I am always supposed to be there and listen, but never ever get anything back, no support, no nice talk, no nothing???
Nothing but some nasty comments.

I'm fucking angry

Thursday, March 20, 2003

Sometimes I am not sure wether I am being paranoid or just that some people suck!
I hate hearing that people, even friends, are talking about me, even though what I hear isn't in a bad way, I just cant help but feeling that there is something more to it, that they are saying things behind my back, judging or something. But I really dont care about that. What does bother me, is when such people look at me or speak to me, and I can just feel their staring stinging eyes wathcing me in some strange way, even their voice diffrent than usual.
I dont do anything, I just stop trusting, and therefore am not able to be the happy talkative me around them, probably not making the situation better.

Things are good now. Stress level is rising though ;) as the finals are coming up. I will survive ;) I always do :)

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

I realized I didnt yet answear the question...
the answear (right now at this moment and place and time in my life): hope.

I have hope that there is still something good in this world, hope that I can feel good, hope that I can be happy with myself. Hope that I can do something. Hope that I am not a complete failure.

Hope

I was asked what brings me out of bed each morning. The fact is that I dont really, now I am still in bed. Last night I had decided to go to the gym early in the morning, but I just could not do it this morning, even though now I have to walk there but could've gotten a ride this morning.
I'm not sure I can answear that question; what brings me out of bed every morning.
Well I do look forward to this weekend, and the whole friday should be fun. But today there is nothing special. I must go on a meeting in the afternoon, and need to do some volonteer work in the evening. Well that might be interesting, we'll see.

I also look a little bit forward to going to the gym, and buy a card :) I tried the place out last week and it looked quite nice :)
What excites me the most is not the fact going there but the fact that this would be the beginning of the end of my few extra pounds.

I am not really fat or anything. I have just almost never had to give my weight much thought before, since I have usually been quite satisfied with my body. But now I have "mysteriously" gained some weight, and some of my pants are getting a little bit too tight! Not liking my body makes me unhappy. I am used to going out and getting a lot of attention. Now I feel so bad that I dont even wanna go out, dont want to see people.
But I just know I can get rid of these pounds and become happy. Feeling good about yourself is the key to happyness. I like to make other people happy and I cant do that if I am not happy. And this is an evil circle, the unhappy me likes bad food, comfort food and chocolate a lot! So it is absolutely vital that I slim up a bit, start feeling good, and then spread happyness around :D

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

Gosh I need to learn to shut up sometimes!